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| Check Mate
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| Choosing a life partner is one of the most important things you can do for yourself in terms of your wellbeing. New research points to the importance of your spouse when it comes to your good health and your ability to recover from illness.
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Vows should never be lightly entertained—particularly the for-richer-for-poorer kind that come with a health proviso. Sometimes, however, the problem isn’t in failing to honor the promises we make but the way in which we fulfill our obligations that causes trouble.
In sickness or in health may be more complicated than previously thought.
When confronted with illness and even some therapies, for example, you may find yourself unable to work, carry out daily routines or manage your own personal care without assistance.
“During such times it’s critical to have what is called ‘social support’—someone available to help when you need it. Amongst couples, the ill or injured person's spouse plays this role. Studies clearly show that in general having more support in the context of illness is associated with lower distress, shorter hospitals stays, faster physical recovery, fewer medical complications, better emotional adaptation, and living longer with the
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disease or illness,” says Dr. John Ruiz, assistant professor of psychology at Washington State University.
So what happens when spousal support is anything but supportive?
In fact, current research suggests there are times when the presence of a life partner can seriously undermine your recovery from illness. It’s not enough to maintain your own positive mental attitude pre-and-post surgery/treatment, now there’s clear evidence indicating that your spouse’s personality also plays a significant role in how well you cope with and emerge from a sustained period of recovery.
Dr. Ruiz points to the increased and intensified interaction between couples that typically occurs during times of illness—the concerned spouse monitors their partner’s health, goes to medical appointments and generally puts their own life on hold for the duration, all in an attempt to guarantee a good outcome.
“This is great if the spouse is a positive influence—not just behaviorally but emotionally. For example, our research shows that having an optimistic spouse—one who is positive even on days when the patient is feeling challenged or down can rally the patient to keep trying, coping, working to recover. On the other hand, a more neurotic or negative spouse—one who communicates anxiety and worry, may pull the patient into thinking that there is reason for concern, which could lead to fear, anxiety, hopelessness, and depressed feelings. Such feelings may result in the patient not working as hard to recover, which may have an impact not only on quality of life but physical health.”
Dr. Ruiz was part of a team of researchers studying more than 100 coronary-bypass patients and their spouses before-and-after surgery. After 18 months of observation and assessment, they concluded that a partner’s negative personality traits can fuel symptoms of depression in the recovering patient and affect their physical and emotional recovery over the long haul.
Being confronted with a healthy spouse’s worry, anxiety or generally neurotic outlook and behavioral patterns can exacerbate depression in someone who is ill or recovering from illness, which may in turn pose a major impediment to getting well.
Other recently obtained research has established what’s long been suspected—there is a physiological link between stress and disease.
If you must choose a neurotic life companion then at least make sure it’s someone you love since your level of happiness with your mate transcends all other considerations when it comes to recovery, according to findings from the study.
Assuming your marriage is on somewhat shaky ground, however, what do you do if all that “help” from your well-intentioned but neurotic partner is also a source of stress and anxiety?
“Of course, the best option is to communicate directly with your spouse regarding your need for them to be a positive influence that provides you with hope. However, if that is a conversation that you or your spouse would not be able to have than there are other options,” suggests Dr. Ruiz. “For example, you could turn to other members of your support network—friends, neighbors, other family members who are more positive influences and make you feel good. By drawing in these people one may compensate for more negative influences. Also, you can ask your physician to communicate with your spouse regarding the importance of a positive message and limiting the amount of worry.”
Dr. Ruiz cites solid evidence, which indicates that traditional risk factors such as diet, exercise, smoking and genetics or family history only account for about half the risk for disease and recovery.
“To this list, we can now add a person’s spouse as an important influence on mental and physical recovery following illness.”
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