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| Children Will Listen
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| Do your kids (and the adults who deal with them) a lifelong favor and teach them how to navigate the bumpy road of life with grace and charm. Expert suggestions for improving your child’s social skills and inculcating good manners and refinement.
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Sit up straight. Don’t talk with your mouth full. Elbows off the table. These well-worn parental imperatives, often punctuated by a poke in the ribs, withering glance or exasperated sigh, may be all many of us knew of etiquette training while growing up. Teaching your child how to behave well, however, needn’t consist of endless barked or boot-camp-style extremes. Today, more and more parents are seeking professional help when it comes to raising a well-mannered child.
For Pittsburgh-based Bridget Weedn, (www.etiquetteconsulting.com) who
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instructs young children and teens in the art of proper etiquette, good manners don’t represent a boundary to enjoying one’s life; they are the means through which maximum enjoyment is achieved for the greatest number of people.
“Etiquette is a set of rules used to make everyone feel comfortable. Parents should teach etiquette by example, showing their concern for other people’s feelings and comfort level,” says Weedn.
Formal etiquette training for kids can start as young as seven and eight years old.
“The earlier a child begins this training, the better. These skills must be practiced to become a natural way of conducting oneself,” explains Weedn.
Instruction covers the two main veins of public interaction: social etiquette and dining skills. Social etiquette covers the gamut, from teaching kids how to make proper eye contact and perfecting the handshake (no wet noodles!), to maintaining good posture and learning how to introduce themselves. Dining skills consists of a primer on place settings, lessons in how to eat soup and when it’s appropriate to begin eating among various and sundry other classic dining do’s and don’ts. Kids are given a workbook for future reference and course costs range from 0 to 0.
Making kids familiar with the rules of public engagement early on gives them a safe basis for reference when they’re on their own and also provides them with much-needed confidence, which translates into greater social ease as they mature.
“The value of learning the proper use of etiquette is the comfort level that will allow the child’s polished glow to stand out above others. If the child is comfortable with knowing the correct way to behave, he will excel,” offers Weedn.
Good manners don’t translate into Eddie Haskell-ish insincerity, but instead indicate genuine sensitivity to the feelings of those around you.
“The hallmark of a polite child is being aware of others around you and taking their feelings in to consideration. Like using their listening skills and not interrupting, giving good eye contact to show they are interested in the person they are talking to, and the ultimate greeting, a proper handshake,” says Weedn.
To ensure training is effective, parents need to pitch in.
“The biggest mistake that I see parents making when trying to raise well-mannered children is not following through. Practicing the same good habits each time they are out or even at home, is mandatory. These rules must be used over and over again until they become habit. Yes, the rules must be followed even when eating at McDonald's. Practice makes perfect and then you don't have to worry about it again,” advises Weedn.
Generation Yes, Please:
Tips on rearing a people-friendly child:
- Be a Role Model.
“My advice to parents is to lead by example and be consistent. If the child is reluctant to go to a class, it is a good idea to have a friend join in or a family member. Family training is becoming more and more popular and is a great way for everyone to be on the same page,” counsels Weedn.
- Be Forgiving.
Don’t ask more of your kids than you ask of yourself. Practice and not punishment makes perfect manners.
- Exposure is half the battle.
Take your kids out when they’re young and expose them to different social situations. Familiarity with more formal dining or social interaction puts them in good stead for the future.
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